Sin is sin bottom line.

 

 

 

I usually don’t post anything regarding homosexuality. For several reasons. First, one of my sisters is gay and I tremendously love and adore her and her partner. You couldn’t ask to know two people who are any funnier, sweeter and have biggest hearts. Two, they know where I stand on gay relationship/marriage. I do not need to rub it in on a daily basis. Three, the bible is clear love the sinner h...ate the sin, correct?!? (To be clear, I am not calling anyone a sinner) The bible says your salvation is between you and God, not between me, a neighbor and God (Philippians 2:12). I am not condoning, nor am I judging anyone who lives a lifestyle different than what I believe is right or wrong. Four, I have my own skeletons. They may not be the same ones but they are there.
The following scriptures say the following six things are things in which the Lord hates. So, therefore you must have a soap box for each one of these subjects, right?
Proverbs 6:16-19
King James Version (KJV)
These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Then it tells us, if we say we’ve not sinned were liars.
(1 John 1:10 - If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us)
Then it tells us if we know the good and do not do it were are sinning.
James 4:17 - Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth [it] not, to him it is sin.

You cannot force someone else to see you point of view. Your beliefs or how you feel. Constant preaching (drilling in) will not get you anywhere. Expressing scripture calmly, with love, and understanding. Then just pray for them. With any and all sin, not just what “you” consider the big sin.

So, with all that being said. Does it mean we are supposed to distance ourselves from people who shed innocent blood, lie, have a proud look, have wicked imaginations or cause problems? Give off a judgmental attitude towards and constantly give our biblical and/or political opinion on their lifestyle? No, we are not. We are to embrace with love. Not the lifestyle but the person. We are all born into sin (Romans 3:10). We all fall short (Romans 3:23). The bible gives the biblical definition of marriage yes of one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24). It also says he hates divorce times (Malachi 2:16). I’ve been divorced legally three times. In my past, my relationships involved pre-marital sex. I’ve told white lies to spare someone’s feelings. What does that say about me? I am a sinner.

Bottom line:
Yes…….we do live in a country where we can and will practice freedom of speech. And as your right you can say what you want. Quit being judgmental idiots about it, let he who has not sinned cast the first stone (John 8:7). The sin factor is not multiple choice. All sin is wrong, murder, lying, adultery, homosexuality, divorce, wicked thoughts, a proud look (haughty sprit), spreading rumors. They are all sins. The bible does not say there is a degree of sin. Like burns first, second or third degree. Sin is sin!!! It is not your place to judge another persons "sin".

LUKE 6:38

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. LUKE 6:38

ThE AcCePtAbLle SiN oF GlUtToNy

 

Before we began remember, I am guilty 100% of what I am going to blog about today. When God started dealing with me on it and initially I was offended, Upset and somewhat angry. So, I am expecting nothing less from my readers. I want to be a vessel. I want God to use me. Not for my own praise and glory, strictly for his. This applies to all aspects of my life. In my health, at work, as a mother, at the gym and as a Christian. One of the things I have been praying about is my weight. In the process of seeking his face regarding the matter he has revealed to me my heart, and my issues with this journey to fitness. If you noticed the tile of my Facebook page and blog was changed. It now is Finding Faith and Fitness. Yes, I added the faith. I have learned the journey to fitness if done the right way, the godly way cannot be done without the journey to faith as well. So hold on I will share with you what God has shown me.

I truly believe gluttony is the one universal acceptable sin. Next to sexual impurity. Most people when they hear the word gluttony they automatically think, FOOD! I know I always have. If you think about it, the majority of people in the Christian faith especially Pentecostal faith preach hell fire and brimstone on adultery, murder, and lying. If it’s mentioned in the bible it’s brought to light and preached against. However, they leave out gluttony, why? There are so many that are overweight. I’ve literally seen them preach till they are red in the face about sin. Sin is sin there is not a degree of sin. All sin will send you to hell. Not just a select few. So, if gluttony is considered one of the “seven deadly sins” why are so many pastors, their wives and congregants overweight? Because we don’t preach about it. It would be sinful if they did, why? That would make you a hypocrite, right?!  I’ve done some studying regarding the definition of gluttony. My eyes were opened. To the fact gluttony does not have to revolve around food. Even though I am going to focus on the part of gluttony that does revolve around food.

Food Isn't the Real Problem. The root of every sin is a disaffection for God, and Gluttony is based on the lie that food is more pleasurable than God.

Did you know the beginning of every year we as a nation resolve to lose weight? According to google.com it is the most common New Year’s resolution.  To be healthier. To try the latest magical diet fad or diet pill. To incorporate a specific exercise regimen into our lives. We spend money on gym memberships. We buy the latest exercise equipment. We sign up with Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and Nutrisystem. I think you get my point.  We get off to a great start. By spring break the majority of us are no longer on the ban wagon to obtaining a healthier life. We’ve fallen off wagon due to so many different excuses. Luckily when we fall off we still have that extra weight to cushion our fall. And we can guarantee our best friends Ben & Jerry, little Debbie and Hostess is readily available to pick us back up. I know I can relate to this. See resolutions do not work and I am going to give my opinion on why.

Resolutions Are Powerless

That is why our resolutions are powerless to change the heart. We need more than principles, diet fads, magic pills and personal trainers. The good news for the glutton is that acceptance and change aren’t based on our resolutions and effort (Gal. 2:15–21), but on God’s gracious resolution and effort to make us his workmanship in Christ (Eph. 2:8–10). The only resolution that matters is God’s gracious resolution to give sinners himself through the blood-stained cross and empty tomb. The gospel of Christ offers us all we need to satisfy the hungry soul, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger” (John6:35).

How to overcome gluttony? It is simple, not easy but simple.

1.            Start with prayer, sincere payer! Ask God to show you where you are failing him in by giving into gluttony. Is it indulging in the internet, television, food, caffeine, sweets, gossip? Are you obsessing over calorie counting, fat counting or carbohydrate counting? Yes, all these things can be considered gluttony.  Anything causing you to succumb to gluttony.

2.            Once God lays it on your heart, ask him to forgive you of your sin of gluttony or over indulgence in anything that takes away from a godly walk. Ask him to cleanse your heart and make it pure of all sin including the sin of gluttony. Call the sin by name. (And because you said the prayer does not mean the temptation will be gone. Satan will rear his ugly head and try to tempt you again and again) and you will have to pray daily sometimes several times daily. It’s ok! Make sure when you’re praying and seeking God’s face for help that you have the right motives. If you you’re praying to be thin to look sexier, to dress immodestly any other reason than improving a temple a vessel for the kingdom. Most likely not going to happen or maybe even harder. Pray with a sincere pure heart is a Godly heart. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7

3. Keep a journal. I am not talking about a time consuming what you ate today journal. A prayer journal and yes document your weight if needed. Journal notices you have changed in yourself (spiritual, physical, emotional and/or mental). I promise when you look back you will be glad you did.

4.  Never talk about yourself negativity. Your scale does not define you. Your identity in Christ defines you. Only speak positivity over yourself. I don’t care if you put sticky notes on your mirrors in your bathroom, car sun visor, on your night stand reminding you that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. That you are royalty as a daughter/son of the one true king. “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Proverbs 18:21

5. Stop dwelling on fat/calories/carbohydrates, eat what you want until you are comfortable not full. Don’t eat out of boredom. God made us with internal gauges that tell us when were hungry.  Utilize your internal God given gauges. “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31

Don’t’ get me wrong I struggle with all these daily. I am not perfect and I do not claim to be. I have so much to learn and so much more I want to learn. I just felt impressed to share this with you today. And, I pray this blog today may bless someone who is on the journey to faith and fitness.  

Blessings & Love,

Hollie Kate

A few important things I learned after my divorce

A few important things I learned after my divorce.

For those of us that have been divorced, some more than once. Hand up!  guilty right here. Yes, I shamefully admit I’ve been divorced more than once. I learned quite a bit from both of my divorces, however the one I am referring to today is my first divorce. The only divorce involving children. Four of my five beautiful children. When you are going through a divorce it is so hard to see past the current hurt and emotions. It does not matter if the divorce petition was filed by your or the other party there is still plenty of hurt, disappointments and emotions to deal with. That is just when it only involves the two parties. When you add children in to the mix you have so much more. I can promise you neither party is innocent. It does not matter your age when entering or exiting the marriage, neither party is innocent. Of course his friends and family will side with him condoning all of his actions as well as her friends with her. In the midst of all the hurt, drama, disappointments and confusion it is the children who suffer. Were mature enough to comprehend the situation for the most part. They are not. I think in my first marriage I was excellent hiding any fights and disagreements. The reason I say this is my oldest was 13 when his father and I divorced and a year or so ago (8 years after our divorce) he says “mom I was so surprised when you and dad got divorced.” I of course asked why. His reply “because we never see you fight or argue.” My thought for a split second was, wow I must have done a great job hiding and disguising our disagreements, that makes me the good parent.  This did not make me a good parent nor does it make me innocent by any means. Since our separation and divorce we have both made our fair share of mistakes. I cannot speak for him. I am only speaking for myself. Divorce is hard, just as hard as making a marriage work. Not only do you still have to work together for the children’s sake but you have to do it around the emotions. It’s hard period. I would tell myself this has to be a godly divorce. Uh really?!? I must have been temporarily insane. There isn’t a thing as a godly divorce. A peaceful transition but not godly divorce. Before I receive message and emails regarding that statement I will say. I do believe there are reasons for divorce. My second divorce my pastor gave me permission to file and finalize the divorce. So, yes I believe there are reasons God would allow divorce. He hates divorce, YES!  But sometimes it is necessary (life threating situations). However, that is for a whole other day/blog. So, I would like to share a few things I learned the hard way through my divorce. In hopes my mistakes may help someone else. And Yes I know there will be some situations these may not apply. There are not listed in any particular order.

1.       Take your children and yourself to church. Attend a class for divorce care. They specifically designed a separate divorce care class for children. If it was an abusive relationship get counseling specifically for your situation. (another blog for another day)

2.       Never for any reason bad mouth, talk down about, or even insinuate the other parent is less than a good person. Even if they are your thoughts. Half of your child’s genetic makeup is from the other parent. Don’t let them think half of them are less than good.

3.       When you begin dating never allow the boyfriend/girlfriend around your children. When you carefully decided it is time.  Make sure it is a social setting with lots of people. And, very important keep the displays of affection out of the equations completely. It keeps you and your relationship pure. And, your children have only seen you with their other parent. And, children love both parents unconditionally. This will hurt them, I promise!

4.       Never for any reason go through your child for anything. I don’t care if it’s a lost coat, lost keys a pick up time or any other questions or inquiry you may have. Go directly to the other parent. Not only do messages get construed, remember the old telephone game. Children also have a tendency to tell the other parent what they think they might want to hear. Because they love you and want you to be happy. Which is why #2 is so important. This often leads to other questions ones that do not apply to your child. Listen to what your child has to say when they come home, then simply say “I am so glad you had a wonderful time with your Mom/Dad”. Even if you are not thinking it.

5.       Never miss a pick up date or time. It does not matter if you are the custodial or non-custodial parent. I don’t care if the plans have to be made weeks in advance.  If you do miss it, personally call or talk to your child prior to it.  And make arrangements to make it up to him/her. Then keep that date. Do not allow this child to hang wondering. Children are imaginative and will imagine the worst. They will be hurt, unwanted and need the stability of your presence.

6.       Never attempt to buy a child’s love. If you are the non-custodial parent so you only have every other weekend, holidays or just summers. It is not the quantity of time but the quality of time. There is so much truth in it’s not what you buy a child it is the time you spent with a child. Your child will not remember what your present. They will remember your presence. 

7.       When you are with your child even on a short visit do not be busy with other things (work, friends, other family, boyfriend/girlfriend). Make it a priority to be with your child. Do something fun with your child/children. If finances are an issue. Plan a picnic in the park, a board game night indoors making cookies, or homemade pizza.

8.       When and if you re-marry do not allow your child to call the new spouse mom/dad. Even if the child’s other parent is deceased, incarcerated or just not around. They have two biological parents. They need to be reassured the new mom/dad is not trying to replace a parent. Even if we no longer love or even like that other parent, you child will unconditionally love them.

9.       If the ex-spouse relinquishes parental rights for any reason. Do not let the parent come and go in the child’s life. They made the decision and it only causes misunderstandings, confusion and instability in the child’s life. Never tell the child they are not wanted, there will be enough abandonment issues. And, once again no matter how you feel about the ex-spouse they are genetically apart of that child. Do not let your child hear anything negative about the ex-spouse. The hardest thing I think I’ve had to say to my children is “he is not a bad person, he just made a bad choice” because it was the farthest thing from what I was thinking.

10.   No matter how your family or friends feel about your ex-spouse do not allow negative conversations about the ex-spouse to be discussed. Even if you think your child is outside, upstairs or not paying attention. They are listening even when you think they are not. Children can be mean and they are little recorders and repeat at the best times. And you don’t want another child to repeat what they heard.

11.   If you have been “guilty” of any of these things, remember it is not too late to sit your children down and apologize and let them know they are loved by both parents. Ask them to forgive you. Let them know you will make a conscious effort to change the way and what you think about the ex-spouse. I promise your children will learn a great lesson. They will have a new respect for you.

I am by far a professional not holding any degrees in these areas. Only a parent who has made my fair share of mistakes at the cost of my children’s emotions. And one relationship with a son of mine. I pray this blog will bless or help someone who may be struggling in a similar situation. If you are in a situation similar do not hesitate to email me or comment with your email.

 

Blessings,

Hollie Kate.

I asked God for....

 

 

Sometimes when we ask God for something, were left wondering why he didn't answer us. We tend to pout and mope when we feel as though he has not answered. Well, God ALWAYS answers. A lot of the time it may not be in the way we think or though he should have. K-Love Radio posted this on their Facebook page and I copied and pasted it. I love it, because the truth in it.

 

 

 I asked for strength and
God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I asked for wisdom and
God gave me problems to solve....

I asked for prosperity and
God gave me brawn and brains to work.

I asked for courage and
God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for patience and
God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.

I asked for love and
God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for favors and
God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted
I received everything I needed.
My prayers have all been answered.

Hazards of Winter Road Conditions

I know a lot of you in the Northern states are very well aware of the dangers on the roads during winter months. I live in and love Central Texas,  I've not always lived here. And since being transplanted here I've noticed the dangers seem to increase when uneducated drivers are behind the wheel. What I mean by uneducated is strictly regarding winter road conditions. So, please do not take offense. We all are aware the roads are dangerous without the hazards of what winter months bring. The wrecks with fatalities increase with the hazardous conditions. Not only with accidents but with being stranded. I am not telling anyone how to drive or what to do I am only giving suggestions. In hopes to educate someone who may not be aware of a few small things that could be the difference between a good or bad travel day.

1. Give yourself plenty of travel time. It is ok to be late.

2. Keep kitty litter in your vehicle it will give you traction if you are stuck.

3. Throw in a blanket, a bottle of water, candle and matches/lighter just in case. The heat from one candle can be the difference between life and death if stranded.

4. DO NOT FOR ANY REASON TEXT and DRIVE, no text is worth it. (due to old habits and temptations, I place my phone away from me, but close enough if there were an accident I can reach it)

5. If you need to pull over try and wait until there is a store or parking lot. Try not to sit on the shoulder of the road.

6. Give plenty of space between yourself and the vehicle in front of you. Allow plenty of stopping time.

7. If you have to take the long way to avoid icy bridges and overpasses do it.

8. This should be number 1. Say a prayer before leaving.

9. Dress in layers. Use an undershirt, thermals and/or panty hose under slacks or skirts.

10. Always use your seatbelt

11. Always make sure windows and mirrors (side windows, rear window and windshield) are clear prior to your departure. Starting your vehicle 10 minuets prior to leaving is all it takes. Never use water and/or vinegar to melt the ice.

Praying this blog post may help someone who may not have know any of these tips. Please be safe and blessed during these winter months.

Blessing to all,

Hollie Kate

Confessions of an imperfect parent

 

 

Before I start I want you to know. I am not nor have I ever been or claimed to be a perfect parent. I am only an imperfect parent who makes daily parenting mistakes. Being prayerfully led in the spirit by a perfect God. I know from experience we feel bad, judged or mean for defriending and or blocking someone including family and friends. Yes, I understand some people don’t. However, for the ones of us who do, with good reason we feel bad. I’ve had to do this. No only on my Facebook or other social media sites, but on my children’s as well. Does this make me a bad parent, a bad Christian or ungodly saint? Some would say yes. After searching my own heart and seeking the heart of God, I’ve come to the conclusion ASOUTLEY NOT!! I am none of these things. Protecting your mental and emotional health as a Christian is of the upmost importance. Your heart is the central nervous system for emotions of the body (yes, I know this is not scientific, it’s not meant to be). It is where your emotions stem form, Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind”, Matthew 2:37 (NIV). All connected right?!   The bible is perfectly clear in any translation to guard your heart, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV).  I am sure it does not just mean from pornography, pre-marital relations, satanic items/rituals and dysfunctional relationships. I believe it is anything not edifying to Christ. Sometimes we see a quote, photo or status update we like. Therefore we double click little like button. Innocent enough, right?! Um, no! I have to constantly remind my children those photos, quotes and status are sometimes connected to a page, friend or company not edifying to Christ. I’ve noticed my teen daughter likes a lot of photos with quotes containing curse words. Words not used in my home. This bothers me beyond words. So, I’ve told her if it continues I will take her Facebook away. I have gone as far as linking her photo stream on her IPhone to my computer. If any inappropriate photos are taken or received and saved, I know all about it. Her phone is also on family plan, if she says she is going somewhere I can look on family plan and know within 63 feet of the location where she is at. Oh, yes I am that mean mother. I know some of you are thinking “Oh my goodness, she’s a terrible control freak.” No, that is not it at all.  If she is unable or doesn’t want to guard her heart as a child lent and entrusted to me. Then I will, it’s my job. Their father relinquished his rights. He had his reason, he says. I am sure, nor at this point is it relevant. However, when my children or myself have mutual friends on social media site we can see all comments, updates and photos liked by him, his wife or his Step-children. Yes, this bothers a couple of my children. So, as the mean mother I am; I blocked him and all his family from my children’s pages. They can no longer see any activity by him or his family. Thus, cutting back on their negative emotions (protecting their hearts). I also informed my children if their curiosity gets the best of them and they decide to unblock or re-friend any of these people I will gladly delete their Facebook. Yes, again I am that mother. I was told once “if your children are mad at you at least half the time you are not doing your job”. Or “you are not their friend, you are their parent.” There is so much truth in both statements. So, as I prayerfully ask God will lead me and guide my footsteps in parenting. I know there will be plenty of mistakes, tears and doubt. I know God will keep his promise.

 

Remember as a parent, Single parent or not these following things (Things God has reminded me of).

 

1.       You are not their friend, they have plenty of friends. You are their parent entrusted by a God who has only allowed you to borrow them. Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bring shame to his mother.”

2.       Children are a blessing, a reward. Yes, even when you are doubting it. “Children are a gift from God, they are his reward.” Psalms 127:3

3.       Discipline is a form of love. Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers (or mothers), do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”

4.       On your bad days “this too shall pass.” 2 Corinthians 4:14 “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”  

5.       A child’s obedience is a biblical commandment. Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

 

Praying today this post may bless someone.

 

Blessings,

Hollie Kate

 

 

 

Dysfunctional Circus

 

We have all experienced family or relationship dysfunction at some point in time. All families and relationships have some form of dysfunction.  Dysfunction rears its ugly head in many forms.  The Ike and Tina Turner household. The Charles Manson household. The “Mommy Dearest” household. The “Because I Said So” household. The David Koresh household. The Tyler Perry household.  I could keep going.  For me I was raised in the Ike and Tina household mixed with the Tyler Perry household. With a side of Lt. Col. “Bull” Meacham.  Then to my surprise with my second marriage, I married it. At times I know I had been ashamed or embarrassed due to family or relationship dysfunction. See, there are the ones who minimize the family or relationship dysfunction. Making excuses and condoning the dysfunction. Surrounding themselves with people in like situations to help condone and minimize.  Then there are the ones who also tend to maximize our dysfunctions. Making mountains from mole hills. Like any dysfunction in our lives it always seems bigger when we feel engulfed in it. However, there is great news regarding family and relationship dysfunction. Our God is bigger than any type of dysfunction we can encounter.  At one time I didn’t think this. Family and relationship dysfunctions are biblical. I never realized how many times the bible mentions various kinds of dysfunctions in families and relationships. Most of us could find patterns of dysfunction some more apparent than others. Whether it’s an abusive spouse, unethical parent or grandparent, an inappropriate uncle or aunt, a toxic sister or brother, family’s often repeat destructive patterns for generations draining the “fun” out of “Dysfunctional”! I am going to share with you a few of the dysfunctional families mentioned in the bible. I can admit it was bittersweet studying these families. Going down the road of the past, also learning God is so much bigger than any of it.  

GOMER & HOSEA: After leaving Hosea to be a prostitute years later,  Hosea bought her from her slavery for fifteen shekels of silver and thirteen bushels of barley (Hos. 3:2). Then he said to her, “You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you” (Hos. 3:3). He actually paid for her, brought her home, and eventually restored her to her position as his wife.

ABRAHAM:  This man’s family definitely had some dysfunctional moments!!   Abraham pretends that Sarah is his sister, he had a son Ishmael with Hagar his wife’s maid.  He nearly sacrificed Isaac…but God used him to change the world.

JOSEPH: His brothers sold him into slavery. (I think we’ve all considered this with our siblings at some point). Joseph’s story is also a biblical portrait of what God can do in the midst of a dysfunctional family if just one family member is yielded to Him. In the end he married the mother of Jesus and  became the earthly adopted father to Christ.

KING DAVID:  He sees Bathsheeba bathing, skinny dipping, getting naked on the roof so David calls for her “has her” with her while her husband is on the front lines of the battle.  King David’s son raped his half-sister Tamar.  The scriptures state that Tamar begged Amnon not to “do this wicked thing”. Later Tamar’s full brother Absalom would have Amnon killed in retaliation.  Believe it or not…… David was called “A man after God’s own heart.”

TAMAR:  Er married a Gentile woman named … Tamar. Er died and his brother Onan rose up to do his brotherly duty by marrying Tamar. But he, too, suddenly died, leaving Tamar both husbandless and childless. So because she was impatient and unwilling to wait for God to supply her need, she hatched a scheme to cause her father-in-law Judah to sleep with her. Her plan was simple: Dressing up as a shrine prostitute, she seduced Judah into sleeping with her, whereupon she became pregnant and gave birth to twin boys—Perez and Zerah.  Tamar is strange, dysfunctional and this is the kind of people that made up Jesus’ family tree.

JACOB:  Jacob has thirteen children.  That’s not a dysfunctional problem, that’s more of a birth control problem, however, he had those thirteen kids with four different women. Yes, four women talking about some baby mamma drama.

LOT - At one point Lot offers his daughters to rapists. If that isn't dysfunctional enough for you then how about a little incest too?  Both of his daughters tricked him and became pregnant by him. Wife also turned to a pillar of salt for disobedience of “looking back.”

Out of all the stories of biblical family dysfunction I think my favorites are the story of Hosea and Gomer. And the story of Joseph.

What I love so much about Joseph is this: While he comes from a long line of dysfunctional family members, God has an amazing, unprecedented plan for his life. Joseph’s intimate walk with the Lord far outweighs his family circumstances. By whole heartedly surrendering to God, Joseph chooses a different path than the inherited tendencies of his past. He chooses to be trustworthy in character, chooses to be obedient to authority, chooses to be sexually pure, and chooses to be forgiving instead of vengeful. As a result, although Joseph’s brothers mean to harm him, God uses their treachery as part of His far greater plan. To quote Joseph “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good …” (Genesis 50:20).

No matter how troubled you’re past, no matter how turbulent you’re present, and God has a plan for your future. Joseph’s story is a powerful reminder that you don’t have to be a prisoner of your past. Hallelujah!!!!! Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Hosea and Gomer’s story is a story of love. Pure perfect genuine godly love. The kind of love God showers upon us. No matter how many times Gomer ran and embraced the sinful life Hosea took her back. Even to the point he purchased her from slavery being used, dirty, and sinful. He saw past the hurt she caused him and loved her enough to pay a price for her. That takes some godly love. I can’t not say I would do this.

God took Abraham, Joseph, Lot, Isaac, Jacob, Tamar, King David, even the woman at the well. And with any dysfunction family or relationship you may have or have had. God is bigger and he can and will turn it into good. I’ve been working on this myself. About the time I thought I had it under control. I married an abusive man and a whole new dysfunction began.  It was a vicious cycle of dysfunction and after all I had done in prayer and study I wasn’t supposed to be back in that place. And I had once again ask God to do what I am going to ask you to do if you are in a cycle of dysfunction with family, friendships, or any other dysfunctional relationships.

Take it ALL back. Just like Hosea, Gomer, David, Joseph, and Lot did. Only rising above the dysfunction by …Ok, I don’t think this is coincidence that “I will rise” by Chris Tomlin came on Pandora immediately after writing rising above. Rise above it all, Take back your joy, peace and life. Give it all to God.

 1.       Ask God to give you eyes to see dysfunction that is hindering your joy and peace.

2.       Identify what patterns causing the dysfunction needs to change.

3.       Forgive the person or persons including yourself that is allowing or causing the dysfunction. Forgiveness is where healing begins.

4.       Make attainable goals that will enable you to move forward the emotional health and healing God wants for you.

5.       Decide no turning back. Give up the unhealthy dysfunctional relationships that cause you emotional, physical and mental dysfunctions.

6.       Share your struggles with someone close. Someone who will encourage you, pray with you and keep you accountable.

 

Be assured, with the power of Christ inside you, your past does not have to dictate or sabotage our future. Memorize and apply this Scripture to your life: “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life …” (2 Peter 1:3).

I pray this blog may bless someone who may have unhealthy dysfunctional relationships. God has so much more for us. We have to take out the garbage and make room for him.  

Blessings,

Hollie Kate

 

A lost woman found in the birth of a baby.

 

Today, I am going to hesitantly and shamefully share my story of my youngest.  At the age of 28 I found myself newly single. I had been with my ex-husband and father of my four oldest children for 13 years. The only man I had even been sexually involved with. See, when you get married at sixteen and become a wife and mother you never truly have the ability to live out your teen years. If you are a decent wife and mother. No, I am not saying I was perfect and without blame. That is far from the truth. Well following the separation of my husband. I attempted to live out the teen years I missed.  I met a man the “perfect” man. That knight and shining armor, the man everything my ex-husband was not.  The man who promised me the world and then some. Nope….. Love is blind is so true. He was everything my ex-husband wasn’t and some. He was a toad in aluminum foil.  Within a few months of meeting, dating and having a sexual relationship with this man. Bam, you think I would have known better but it happened I was pregnant. That was me twenty-eight divorced with four children and pregnant. This knight and shining armor begged me. I am serious when I say begged me to have an abortion. When I informed him an abortion would never be an option for me.  He told me his brother and infertile sister-in-law wanted to adopt the baby. At that point I was livid. He promised a baby I was pregnant with to his brother. Of course I refused.  He then revealed his true colors to me. He distanced himself to from me. I was heartbroken. I loved him. I had never felt this way about anyone, ever. Before you judge me, remember my example of love was twisted. I had never been exposed to a healthy loving relationship.  Finally at one point he came around or so I thought. He picked me up and we drove around in his truck to talk. He then picked up a friend and a package. I was not naïve, just in denial. Before the night was over the package was opened and he and his friend shared a pipe. Yes, a pipe and not the kind filled with tobacco. I had never seen in person someone smoke a pipe filled with meth. It was only something I had seen on television.  I then requested to go home. We only spoke a couple of times after that. I moved from the town I lived in. I was broken, stressed and embarrassed. It was amazing how easily he moved on. After moving I had decided adoption was best for this baby. I was divorced, homeless, carless, and had absolutely no help. I flipped through a phone book and came across ABC adoptions in Oklahoma City. I browsed hundreds of profiles of infertile couples. I finally picked one. Rob and Christie, they were perfect. They were financially stable, big house on a cul-de-sac in a perfect Atlanta Georgia neighborhood. And stable employment. We talked almost every day. They agreed to an open adoption. They had painted fairies on the wall of the nursery. Each fairy had one of my children’s faces. A picture of me place in a frame on the shelf next to the crib. They flew in for my ultrasound February 14, 2006. They found out the sex of the baby. Even using brown eyed girl as their ringtone. It was set up they paid my living expenses while I was pregnant. One day in March I received my first ever eviction notice. I called the agency who recommended that I call Rob and Christie. She was so upset crying she couldn’t even talk, so didn’t get out of her what was going on. At this point I am hysterical and worried. Rob called and told me they had decided to wait till the birth of the baby and see her to decide if they wanted to move forward in the adoption. So, at that point there was no guarantee my baby would have a home with this couple. They backed out. This is very uncommon. The agency and I were at a loss to why for sure. At this point I was homeless again, 3 months away from giving birth.  This was a hard pregnancy. I was on anti-depressants, constant nausea and vomiting. So sick that the day before she was born weighed in 17 pounds less than the day I found out I was pregnant.  I once again moved back to my home town. The one the baby’s dad lived in. To my surprise his ex-wife asked are you still pregnant? It was that or I had swallowed a beach ball. I was then informed he told everyone I had had an abortion and moved away.  He still wanted nothing to do with us. He had already signed the adoption papers.  Without even trying a second family had just fallen into place. She was a Physician’s Assistant, single mom of an African American little girl also adopted. I have to explain while I was pregnant I had the mindset this was NOT my baby. I detached myself emotionally. A couple of time I drank, and not just some but quite a bit. I know this makes me sound horrible. I didn’t buy one baby thing. I didn’t listen to the heartbeat or watch the ultrasound. I completely detached myself. I was excited this new family had just fallen into my lap. This woman ended up being crazy I am talking insane crazy.  Threatening to pull out all of my hair if I changed my mind. Calling places all over town to check up on me. Telling me I was not allowed to leave the city limits with her baby. At this point in my life I was not a praying woman. I didn’t feel God love. It was my season in the wilderness. But, I did ask God to get me out of the situation. Guess what! He did. Her attorney called and said she had decided to adopt a baby where the birth mother lived in a different town. Relieved, however scared to death. My friends rallied around saying if you keep her they would help.  The irony in the situation these women were all women who had dated my daughters biological father. One was currently dating him. Till this day they are together with two kids. At this point I only have contact with two of these women. I was staying with one of them. It was not the ideal situation. They were always getting high in the back room. Six people in a two bedroom. I was blessed it was summer and my children with at their dads house for the summer. Five weeks prior to my due date. I felt something was wrong with the baby. Which was weird to me considering I had detached myself. I made my way to the ER. Where I was monitored. The nurse wanted to send me home. The doctor knew everything, he was not only my gynecologist but my therapist, and friend. He told her he wanted to watch me overnight. That night I put pressure on the sensors to make it appear I was having contractions. I promise I am not crazy. They wanted to send me home. I knew deep down something was not right. I was dilated to a 2 and had been for two weeks. The doctor decided to break my water. To move things along. Within a few hours I was dilated to a 5 then an 8. But 12 hours later I had regressed back to a five. The baby’s hear rate had fluctuated between 212 and 0. The doctor ordered an emergency Cesarean section. When I sat and lean forward for the doctor to place the catheter for the epidural. The baby crowned. Yes, she was being delivered regardless. I delivered my daughter 5 weeks early only dilated to a five. She was six pound ten ounces of blessing. She was charcoal gray, limp and without a heartbeat. The cord had been wrapped around her neck three times. I distinctly remember the doctor telling the nurse to take the baby out. I will never forget his words “she’s gone, take her in the other room”.  Right then and there I realized I had not detached myself from this baby like I thought I had. As I watched them attempt to make her breath, I laid there shattered. Then miraculously, I watched her cry and turn from charcoal gray to pink.

I was moved to my room along with my baby. It was then the doctor informed me 24 hours more in utero she would have been still born. And resuscitation would not have been an option.    I held her, I sobbed. What do I do? I have absolutely nothing to offer her. I am homeless, I have no job, and I have no money. I spent 24 hours holding a baby without a name, without a home without a capable parent. But the one thing this baby girl has was a big God. There was this sweet pastor who had been visiting saints from his church. I didn’t know him, I only knew of him. That day June 17^th he came into my room and forever changed my life and heart.  Till this day I remember word for word what he said. “I know you don’t know me. And, the only thing I know about your situation is what God has shared with me. You have had two families back out from adopting this baby. God is telling you, this baby is yours. She is your gift to keep”. He prayed then left. I don’t think I’ve seen him since. I know he passed a few years ago. That was it. I named her Kielee Joy meaning beautiful Joy.  My dad visited the hospital with a new car seat, diapers, wipes and a diaper bag full of everything a baby could need. It was like a baby starter kit. Including two hundred dollars cash in the pocket of the bag. Mind you I had not told him what I needed, when she was two weeks old I moved to Amarillo Texas. I lived with my dad, step-mom enrolling in school and working.

 

 

 

 This little girl literally save me from a road of self-destruction. I cannot tell you if it is because I was almost 29 when I gave birth so I was older, the series of events leading up to her birth or just God in the whole situation but I was changed. She is the sweetest, most kind hearted, funny, sarcastic amazing little girl.  Since then her biological father has relinquished all parental rights. So she is literally all mine. But God defiantly knew when he gave me her exactly what he was doing. God has impeccable timing. And he does know exactly what we need when we need it. Whether or not we realize it at the time. And since then I’ve not been on one anti-depressant.

Three things God gave me on my fitness journey

 

I am not an ordained minister. I have not attended seminary. I am not a pastor’s wife.  I am not a deacon nor am I elderly saint with decades of wisdom and biblical knowledge stored in my heart or head. I do not hold any credentials that officially qualify me to teach, preach or share. I am not a nutritionist, personal trainer nor do I have a degree in health and fitness of any kind.

I am not sure that I am qualified in any way to write on this subject. However, from my own blood, sweat, tears, prayers and study. I have decided to write what I have learned. We have all dieted at some point in our lives. I know my entire life I was told by someone I was unattractive, fat, and ugly. Of course when you spend a lifetime hearing these things you begin at some point to believe it. Once you are convinced you are all these negative things it is almost impossible to believe anything else about yourself. Till this day my dad makes comments about my weight.  No too long ago I had said something to the effect my older sister and I were overweight and he said “Mandy is not fat.” So therefore I am the fat one? My entire life he has constantly made snide remarks about my weight. A few years ago after losing 80 pound my brother lovingly said “oh my your half the woman you used to be.” A proud moment for me. Then the pride was gone as fast as my Granddad could say “yea the bags under your eyes do look smaller”. Even as a freshman in high school a guy I was dating broke up with me informing me  my butt was too big to take to prom. I was 5’4” and 140 pounds. Well within my height weight ratio. My second husband constantly told me how fat and lazy I was. This is just a few examples. This was a constant battle. I have yo-yo dieted since high school.  It has been an emotional roller coaster.

Society tells us were to be thin. The thinner the better. I was watching a special on OWN, they were showing a story on eating disorders in Hollywood. One model ate cotton balls drenched in juice and would take up to 20 laxatives a day.  One actress lived on 150 calories a day. Another binged and purged to the point her teeth looked like a meth addict. The stories go on and on. I can guarantee you these women and men. Yes, men! Are far from healthy and closer to heart failure than someone 20 to 40 pounds overweight.  Hollywood tells us through the magazine racks, movies, television shows and books the thinner the better. Not ever taking the physical, mental or emotional health of ourselves or our daughters in account.

I found a journal, one I thought would tell me about my daughter’s crushes, hopes and dreams. However, this was not the case it was columns of food she had eaten, calories and any exercise she had done that day, she is 14. She is 5’6” and weighs 125. So far from overweight.  Yes, I think my daughter should be healthy. However I do not think she needs to be worried about calories consumed at the age of 14.  No matter how many times I have told her since birth how beautiful, sweet and wonderfully made she is. It wasn’t enough society still took a hold. She still worries about her weight. Where did I go wrong? What could I have done different? Absolutely nothing.

I’m big in to the low-carb diet. However I’ve not lost a pound in over two weeks. And I’ve been praying about it and God has shown me so many things. To assist me in weight loss that has absolutely nothing to do with the word DIET!!

Everywhere you look there is a new diet and exercise regimen being hailed: Weight Watchers, Weigh Down with Gwen Schamblin, Jenny Craig, Atkins, South Beach, Cross Fit, Curves, and your best friend’s unique method? Everyone has a different take on the best way to lose weight, but they all have one thing in common: we must get skinny.  So, over the last few weeks/days God has been dealing with me. He had dealt with me spiritually, emotionally, physically and with my heart. I am going to share with you some of the things he has shown me in this season of my journey to fitness. Everyone and including me forgets it is a matter of getting fit and being healthy for the glory of God.

 There is not one scripture in the bible says we need to be or have to be skinny! No one scriptures tells us we need to weigh a certain amount. Nor does it give us specific diet directions with recipes. It does however say in Genesis 1:29 (ESV) And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food.” And in Genesis 9:3 (ESV)   every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything.

God specifically states he made the plants and animals for us to eat. I am going to go out on a limb and say animal products too (butter, milk, eggs).  I think it’s pretty simple. We’re killing ourselves counting calories, fat grams and carbohydrates. No matter where or what we are eating. I am guilty!! Yes guilty, of the gluttony (over eating) I mean come on if its carb free I can eat as much as I want, right!? Uh nope!  I mentioned above God made it all for us to enjoy. We just have to practice three simple things.

1.       We should eat and exercise in a spirit of discipline and self-control. Not out of fear of gaining a pound or fear of fat/calories/carbs.

a.       Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

b.      2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-control. I still workout daily, it just does not consume me.

 

2.       We should eat and exercise in a spirit of thankfulness.

a.       "Everything God created is good, and to be received with thanks.  Nothing is to be sneered at and thrown out.  God's Word and our prayers make every item in creation holy." 1 Timothy 4:4-5 (MSG) we can eat that cookie grandma made us. Just not the whole dozen.

b.      "He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors me; and to him who orders his way aright I shall show the salvation of God." Psalm 50:23 (NASB)

 

3.       Eating and exercising to glorify God

a.       1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV) so, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

b.      1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV) Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. I make it a point to play only worship music while working out. It not only pumps me up, but I get to have one on one with God.

 

Follow these simple three things and you will change. Not only physically but mentally and spiritually as well. No it will not happen overnight. It will not happen in one week. You will notice small changes in your appetite, mood and your relationships. Because food no longer controls your thoughts, actions or your life.   But, it will happen. Remember when you get discouraged Philippians 4:13 (NIV)”I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength” and Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ”.

 

Rely on Christ in prayer and follow the three suggestions and be confident and claim his word. He who begun a good will continue the work. I pray this blog may help you in your journey to spiritual and physical fitness.

 

 

Do you seriously think God can't use you?

 

I have always loved this. I think at some point we all have doubted Gods ability to use us. However, I can guarantee you God can and will use any willing vessel.

 

Consumed

 

 

When I started writing my blog today it was like a normal day. However, when I finished it I was literally in tears, praying and shaking (in a good way). Today was not and will not be a normal day for someone who is consumed. When I sit and reminisce about my childhood I cannot recall a lot of fond memories. I am not one of those people who say “I wish I was 7, 12, 16, 21 or any other age again”. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. I’ve learned what is done is done and hold on to Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” I truly believe all things do work according to his purpose (will).  So, the things that upset when I recall an incident in my childhood that bothers me, I just remember Romans 8:28.

                                                                                                                                                              

However, the fond memories I do have revolved around church camp, Sunday school and youth services.  These are bittersweet memories. Because, those fond memories also house a lot of painful memories (that is a whole another story). I easily get distracted so I have to stay focused here. I was the young girl who at alter call stood in the back helping with the smaller children. I would feel the “tug” for years. Yes, I am not kidding years. But, I never wanted to be judged. I didn’t want people standing around me praying and staring at me. So for years I mentally, physical and spiritually fought it. Until one year at church camp in 1992. I didn’t care anymore. I distinctly remember that moment I gave it all up. I never wanted to fight it again. Then after that I would leave church camp or a youth service, I would be excited and so on fire for God. I couldn’t wait to pray, read and give offering. I was prophesied over. I was going to be in the ministry.  A pastor’s wife or missionary’s wife. This has yet to come however I’m sure if it’s God’s will it will be carried out. In God’s perfect timing.  I couldn’t read enough I just couldn’t get enough of God and his presence. As the years went on. A few incidents happened at church that I held on to. I didn’t give to God. I harbored them, a continued to play these thing over and over in my head. And let these juvenile things drive a wedge between myself and God. For several years I did what I wanted. I ended up divorced. I became promiscuous, then had my fifth child out of wedlock. I never tried drugs, I was never a prostitute or did anything illegal. But, it was enough that the guilt of my actions set in and I was too ashamed to return to God. I knew I had messed up and he didn’t want or need someone like me to be pray for others, or to teach after everything I had done. You know all the little things Satan plants in your head to keep you away from God. I eventually hit bottom and had nowhere to turn. I had two daughters living with friends in another state. It was hard. Finally, I knew only God could reach down and pick me up from the bottom. I was listening to Karen Wheaton and the song “He’ll do it again” played. Then Nicole C. Mullen’s “one touch” played. I knew then and there God was telling me. Only one touch and I will do it again. And guess what HE DID! All that desire to serve, love, share and joy returned. Of course not in an instant like the movies. But, over time. Healing began that day. Don’t get me wrong there are some days. I have to rebuke the old feelings that try to creep up. Then that is when James 4:7 came to play “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you”. Because those thoughts are not from God. Only tactics of Satan to put me back in that place.  That place I know I never want to be. There is a song by Hillsong United, Consuming Fire. The day I heard this song I had chills. It was one of those life changing songs. It took me back to the moments I was on fire for God and everything it entailed. I looked up the scripture in which it says God is a consuming fire.

It does not matter which translation you read Hebrews 12:29 every translations reads the same.

Parallel Verses

 

New International Version

for our "God is a consuming fire."

 

New Living Translation

For our God is a devouring fire.

 

English Standard Version

for our God is a consuming fire.

 

New American Standard Bible

for our God is a consuming fire.

 

King James Bible

For our God is a consuming fire.

 

Holman Christian Standard Bible

for our God is a consuming fire.

 

International Standard Version

For "our God is an all-consuming fire."

 

NET Bible

For our God is indeed a devouring fire.

 

Aramaic Bible in Plain English

For our God is a consuming fire.

 

GOD'S WORD® Translation

After all, our God is a destructive fire.

 

Jubilee Bible 2000

 for our God is a consuming fire.

 

King James 2000 Bible

For our God is a consuming fire.

 

American King James Version

For our God is a consuming fire.

 

American Standard Version

for our God is a consuming fire.

 

Douay-Rheims Bible

For our God is a consuming fire.

 

Darby Bible Translation

For also our God is a consuming fire.

 

English Revised Version

for our God is a consuming fire.

 

Webster's Bible Translation

For our God is a consuming fire.

 

Weymouth New Testament

For our God is also a consuming fire.

 

World English Bible

for our God is a consuming fire.

 

Young's Literal Translation

 for also our God is a consuming fire.                                                                                                                             

 

 

 

If you were raised in church or even at one point in your life had a relationship with Christ. You will always have an ember smoldering.  If you have ever seen a smoldering camp fire and added a paper to it. Maybe blew on it a little or just poured gas or lighter fluid on it. With paper is starts a small flame (reading the pages of his word) especially when you blow on it (the breath it takes to pray).  Now if you add lighter fluid or gas to it, it burst into flames (praise & worship regardless of circumstances). Consuming everything you place on it at that point.  The perfect recipe for a consuming fire. So I will ask you today. What are you willing to do to spark that smoldering fire for God? My challenge to you…. I don’t where you are in your Christian walk.  If you are a believer or a non-believer. Start praying even if it’s 30 seconds in the morning, noon or night. There are no rules on prayer only this it is sincere.  Start reading scripture. There are so many bible apps you can access from anywhere. Replace your music with uplifting with Praise songs, even if you are only replacing one song a day or one an hour. Let’s see what we can do and allow God to consume us. Let’s get to that place where leaping for joy and dancing unto the Lord is as easy as breathing.  I pray today this blog was as much a blessing to you as it was for me to share.

 

Remember Life if short, God is good and coffee is your friend,

 

Hollie Kate.