Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Confessions of an imperfect parent


 
 
Before I start I want you to know. I am not nor have I ever been or claimed to be a perfect parent. I am only an imperfect parent who makes daily parenting mistakes. Being prayerfully led in the spirit by a perfect God. I know from experience we feel bad, judged or mean for defriending and or blocking someone including family and friends. Yes, I understand some people don’t. However, for the ones of us who do, with good reason we feel bad. I’ve had to do this. No only on my Facebook or other social media sites, but on my children’s as well. Does this make me a bad parent, a bad Christian or ungodly saint? Some would say yes. After searching my own heart and seeking the heart of God, I’ve come to the conclusion ASOUTLEY NOT!! I am none of these things. Protecting your mental and emotional health as a Christian is of the upmost importance. Your heart is the central nervous system for emotions of the body (yes, I know this is not scientific, it’s not meant to be). It is where your emotions stem form, Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind”, Matthew 2:37 (NIV). All connected right?!   The bible is perfectly clear in any translation to guard your heart, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV).  I am sure it does not just mean from pornography, pre-marital relations, satanic items/rituals and dysfunctional relationships. I believe it is anything not edifying to Christ. Sometimes we see a quote, photo or status update we like. Therefore we double click little like button. Innocent enough, right?! Um, no! I have to constantly remind my children those photos, quotes and status are sometimes connected to a page, friend or company not edifying to Christ. I’ve noticed my teen daughter likes a lot of photos with quotes containing curse words. Words not used in my home. This bothers me beyond words. So, I’ve told her if it continues I will take her Facebook away. I have gone as far as linking her photo stream on her IPhone to my computer. If any inappropriate photos are taken or received and saved, I know all about it. Her phone is also on family plan, if she says she is going somewhere I can look on family plan and know within 63 feet of the location where she is at. Oh, yes I am that mean mother. I know some of you are thinking “Oh my goodness, she’s a terrible control freak.” No, that is not it at all.  If she is unable or doesn’t want to guard her heart as a child lent and entrusted to me. Then I will, it’s my job. Their father relinquished his rights. He had his reason, he says. I am sure, nor at this point is it relevant. However, when my children or myself have mutual friends on social media site we can see all comments, updates and photos liked by him, his wife or his Step-children. Yes, this bothers a couple of my children. So, as the mean mother I am; I blocked him and all his family from my children’s pages. They can no longer see any activity by him or his family. Thus, cutting back on their negative emotions (protecting their hearts). I also informed my children if their curiosity gets the best of them and they decide to unblock or re-friend any of these people I will gladly delete their Facebook. Yes, again I am that mother. I was told once “if your children are mad at you at least half the time you are not doing your job”. Or “you are not their friend, you are their parent.” There is so much truth in both statements. So, as I prayerfully ask God will lead me and guide my footsteps in parenting. I know there will be plenty of mistakes, tears and doubt. I know God will keep his promise.

 

Remember as a parent, Single parent or not these following things (Things God has reminded me of).

 

1.       You are not their friend, they have plenty of friends. You are their parent entrusted by a God who has only allowed you to borrow them. Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bring shame to his mother.”

2.       Children are a blessing, a reward. Yes, even when you are doubting it. “Children are a gift from God, they are his reward.” Psalms 127:3

3.       Discipline is a form of love. Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers (or mothers), do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord”

4.       On your bad days “this too shall pass.” 2 Corinthians 4:14 “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”  

5.       A child’s obedience is a biblical commandment. Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

 

Praying today this post may bless someone.

 

Blessings,

Hollie Kate

 

 

 

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