Single Parenting and Thankfulness!

I promise you, if  anyone knows the struggles, trials, disappointments, joys, and loves of single mothering I do. Single parenting is hard. It does not matter if you are a single mother or single father, It's hard!!! And I understand what you are about to read goes both ways. This is just my journey. And I pray as you read this you will be blessed.   November is the thirty days of thankfulness.   Each day I post something or someone I am thankful for on my Facebook page.  I am thankful for these things/people  year around. I try to the best of my ability to let it be known how thankful I am. With Thanksgiving being this month, we just want to remind ourselves and others what thing we are thankful for. Because we all know sometimes it's nice to be reminded. Some of these things can be large to us and others may be the smaller simpler things in life. However, this does minimize our thankfulness at all. It does help when you are focused on a full thirty days of thankfulness to not dwell on the negative things that we don’t find worthy of gratitude at the exact moment were living it and staring it in the face. With all this being said, I have to express my thankfulness to the Men who walked out of my children’s lives. Yes, both men.  The ones who voluntarily gave up their parental rights in court. The ones who never call, who never send cards, who never show remorse for the decision to abandon their own flesh and blood. I know so far this sounds harsh. Just bear with me, for a minute. I am not degrading, ridiculing or judging them at all. It’s taken many years, even more tears and much heartache to get to this point of thankfulness. I am not saying I don’t have a day where a little anger or maybe a lot,  is stirred. I’d be lying if I said that never happened. Especially when my children look at me with their teary eyes and broken hearts asking questions, why. The day of the daddy daughter dance, donuts for dads or when I catch them gazing over at the fathers days cards every June. Even how they bow their little heads almost as if they are shameful, that they are "fatherless".  So in all honesty, YES!! I do have some stirred anger. Not for my own selfishness. Like in the past. But, only for the hurt in my children’s eyes. So today I choose not to be angry, upset or to wallow but I chose Thankfulness. Without their decision to walk out and say no, to be absent in every important day in my children’s lives. I or they wouldn’t be who or where we are today. If they wouldn't have disappeared I wouldn’t be the independent, strong, successful individual I am today.  I wouldn’t have a front row seat to every amazing, sweet, unique wonderful big and little thing they have done, said or accomplished.   I wouldn’t have learned to depend upon God. I wouldn’t have known the different, deep, connecting kind of strong love for my children I have known. I am not saying mothers and fathers who have both parents together in the homes, do not know a strong love. I am saying it’s a different kind of love. I wouldn’t have known the love of going hungry so they could eat. I wouldn’t have known the love of sitting up watching for strangers because you are sleeping in your car. The love of locking that Conoco door and hurriedly bathing and brushing teeth in the sink to be at school on time.  I promise I am not complaining. I am truly thankful. I am thankful for the good, the bad, the highs and lows of single mothering.   I am thankful God truly blessed me in so many ways. My only regret is not seeing these blessings till later. And I will daily thank the Lord for blessing me in a way one he can through my trials, struggles and accomplishments. Because, Like Matthew 19:26 says “ALL things are possible with God”.  I know we are all in different seasons of single parenting right now. And it may feel like you will never be to the point of realizing even the negative things are blessings. However, Keep in mind. God will never allow us to go through anything he is not willing to help us through. Be thankful!!!

 

Remember God is good, life is short and coffee if your friend.

Hollie Kate.