Bible Journal (ing), Right or Wrong?

When 2014 turned into 2015 I decided to focus on two things in 2015. These two things were spiritual and physical fitness. I'm not talking about "fitness this whole pizza in my mouth" kind of fitness. I am talking about the, I want to feel decent in my skin, head and heart kind of fitness. So, in February I embarked on this new adventure. Like any adventure in life, there were ups, downs, valleys and peaks. With improvement in both areas. I have to admit both are still a work in progress. They say any progress is better than no progress at all (right!? yay, me!).

Physically, first I am the WORST dieter EVER!!! Seriously, if they gave awards for this, I'd have a medal of honor. Maybe, a library named in my honor. Yes, that bad! Well,  I decided to decrease my sugar and carbohydrate intake. As well as increased my physical activity. With Gods help, I lost. It was not easy, let me tell you NOT. EASY.  There were fits of HANGRY moments, very ugly toddler moments. I had bad let me sit on the floor, fridge door open and literally shoveling in everything in the fridge. Complete with chocolate dripping from my chin. No, worries though, I had enough donuts to soak up the chocolate. These days would have been so easy to wallow in my HANGRY misconduct. But, couldn't! Had to pull of those big girl (literally) panties and move forward.  These hangry days were followed by days of fitness perfection. Angels singing, hallelujah perfection. Yes,till this day there are days french fries and double fudge chocolate cake whisper lovely sweet nothings in my ear. Ever read the Song of Solomon? Well, I am positive that Song of Solomon was written about my love for food. But, again with Gods help GOAL MET at 60 pounds down (whoop! whoop!) All glory to God. Goal of 45 more for 2016. However, I do not feel my physical fitness is about a number on a scale. It's about feeling happy, healthy and good in my skin.

As I embarked on the new physical fitness adventure, I included more importantly my spiritual journey. Let me just start with once upon a time way back when, I was a cup of Jezebel, a dash of Rahab and a few ounces of Delilah. You could say I was spiritually a one woman wrecking ball. Your initial reaction is to judge me. Which is okay, I'd do, did the same.
In the midst of the wrecking ball life, I had a inner desire to be more like Mary. Once a good church girl who was blinded by what the world had to offer me. Seriously, without morals, standards and a conscious the world is the literally the best playground out there. The problem is, it's Satan's playground. A huge fun bright shiny world so full of empty promises and disappointments. Similar to smoking pot and getting drunk. Everything is funnier, taste better, looks better (beer goggles) and easier to do without feeling bad about it. But, in the end you wake up with a headache, in unknown places with unknown people who truly do not care about you as a person. Ill, lonely and guilt ridden. Yep, me, me and me again. Several years ago, Surprised? Don't be, more people than you realize has been there.

I had begun by finding a church I felt comfortable in. I started volunteering with the youth. Even began a bible study for women. In the midst of "teaching" these women I had realized never really learned how to study the word. I didn't know as much as I thought. I knew what it said, but not where to find it. Sorta, defeats the purpose. I began seeking how I should study from others. I wanted to do it right, to learn as much as possible. In an attempt to bring myself closer to God. With all the new "right" way to study I was more confused than when I started and overwhelmed. Which made me no closer to God than before this impossible feat. I asked a more people just to be sure. Who felt because I grew up in church I should know the word, front to back. That my walk with him should be closer. Well, wrong, wrong and wrong again.

Finally, (this year) I did what I should have done in the beginning. I began to pray about it. I wanted God to show me the right way to study his word. I wanted to know as much as I could. I wanted and still want to know all of it. Every ounce. I didn't just want to study, I wanted to remember what I studied. This is something I recommend to anyone who wants to increase their walk or have a more intimate walk with God.

First thing I learned is studying is similar to prayer. It's a conversation between you and God. Prayer is a verbal conversation. Studying is a non-verbal communication. Guess, what there isn't a right or wrong way. When you increase your prayer life and time in the word. God reveals what you need to know.

 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:6

 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 2 Timothy 3:16

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, Philippians 2:12

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

These are not random scriptures. They are scriptures that helped me understand there is no specific way to pray or study. No right or wrong way. So, I use bible journaling (art work) because it helps ME to remember what I've read. When I was in college, my psychology professor said when studying use bright colors. It's proven to help you recall what you read. I have found this to be true. I also find myself contemplating what exactly the scripture means while I journal. As you can tell I am not the best artist. But, it works for me and glorifies God.  Which is what matters.

My personal from experience advice for anyone who is wanting to increase their physical and/or spiritual life.

Do what works for you. As long as you are not starving yourself physically or spiritually there is NO right or wrong way. God created us uniquely. We are all one of a kind. Therefore, I can only think we must learn and become physically healthy uniquely.  As long as you are seeing positive results Spiritually physically or both, do NOT be discouraged. Keep going.... And, when you make a mistake forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness and keep moving. My prayer today is this blog helps someone know it's okay. Do what works for YOU!

God is great and coffee is your friend,

Hollie Kate

I'm DONE, Stressed out single parenting!

 

I was raised in church. I was raised to love, trust and depend upon God and his timing. I memorized all the scriptures on trust and worry in primary Sunday school. I have been a single mother since 2005. There are days it seems like yesterday, then there are those days where is seems like a million years ago. I know being a parent there are worries too numerous to count. I think as a single parent those worries double sometime possible triple. I know for me some of my worries were brought on myself. Other times those worries were circumstantial. Naturally we worry am I doing enough as a single parent to raise successful, healthy, Godly, thriving adults who will be able to function in society. Or am I raising another statistic? Will he or she end up in a clock tower going postal? Single mothers and fathers naturally worry more than average, this is normal I promise. You are not alone. I am not alone. It is a hard lesson to learn.

When I say some of those worries were brought on by myself. I am referring to the times I was too strong, too independent and too smart to admit I needed help. Bottom line it was not independence, it was not because I was strong. And defiantly not because I was smart. It was because I was prideful, huge Mistake!!! Proverbs 16:18 says “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (NIV).  I can and I think we all can admit at some point in time. It is hard to admit I need help. I can’t do this by myself.  I cannot emotionally, mentally, physically or financially handle this by myself. Were taught by society this omission is a sign of weakness. Well it is not, it is a hard lesson to learn.

One of my favorite things women would say is “the lord is your husband, he is the father of your children”. I distinctly remember thinking lady are you nuts, who hit you upside your head?! I could never wrap my head nor my heart around this concept. Most of these women had never been a single parent. Yet, they wanted to tell me how I should look at my situation.  How I should feel. I truly believed these women were nuts. I know these sweet women were taking the following scriptures and applying them to my situation.

“For your Maker is your husband-- the LORD Almighty is his name-- the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:5 (NIV).  “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 68:5 (NIV).

They didn’t mean in a physical sense. Let’s face it God doesn’t sit on the couch cuddling and watching a movie with you. He doesn’t send you flowers or chocolates at work. He doesn’t text or call you midafternoon just to say “I love you”.  I remember thinking “Ok lady, next I get lonely and want to go on a date, I’ll pray about it.” I would be so aggravated at these women.  I used the phrase “when you walk a mile in my shoes, then give me call.” This hateful response didn’t get me anywhere. Yes at the time it made me temporarily feel better. I would feel so desperate at times I would think surely I am obviously one of Job’s decedents. The Satan has skipped a few generations and I am being tested. Then when reading Job right there in black and white it was printed in Job 2:10, He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" Talk about a slap in the face. It wasn’t a physical slap but it sure felt like it.  I learned what these women meant. Was not that God would be my physical husband or a physical father to my children.  That in these times if I were to call upon the Lord he would give me peace, comfort and decrease my anxiety and worry in only a way he could.

 When we really pray it doesn’t have to be a loud prayer for all to hear or see. It only has to be a genuine heart felt prayer. I mean there are still days when a loud boisterous prayer is needed. You now those days you’re standing in the kitchen kids are fighting, you’re sick the dog has had accidents. You are really not sure what you have to cook for dinner.  The youngest has just announced she has no clean clothes for tomorrow. You have no laundry money and realize you will be scrubbing them in the sink. Yes, these are the days I am very vocal with my heavenly father. A simple “Jesus, I cannot do this without your help” will work (heartfelt of course). Never let anyone else dictate your prayer life. It’s a conversation between you and God. Simple as that. In 2 Chronicles 15:4, it states “But in their distress they turned to the LORD, the God of Israel, and sought him, and he was found by them”.  And when you don’t know what to pray just say his name “Jesus.” Matthew 18:19, Says "Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven."  Ask your pastor, friend or even children to pray with you. I promise it works.

My point today is don’t let your pride get in the way of the help God can provide. Yes, sometimes it comes in the form of family, friends and strangers. I’ve made several life friends from accepting the help God has sent my way. Don’t be afraid, prideful or worry about sharing your situation. You never know when your story, your journey, your testimony will help someone else. I pray today you are blessed. That God reveals himself in a mighty way through your situation. Remember this too shall pass. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: Ecclesiastes 3:1.

 

Remember life is short, God is good and coffee is your friend,

 

Hollie Kate.