Bible Journal (ing), Right or Wrong?

When 2014 turned into 2015 I decided to focus on two things in 2015. These two things were spiritual and physical fitness. I'm not talking about "fitness this whole pizza in my mouth" kind of fitness. I am talking about the, I want to feel decent in my skin, head and heart kind of fitness. So, in February I embarked on this new adventure. Like any adventure in life, there were ups, downs, valleys and peaks. With improvement in both areas. I have to admit both are still a work in progress. They say any progress is better than no progress at all (right!? yay, me!).

Physically, first I am the WORST dieter EVER!!! Seriously, if they gave awards for this, I'd have a medal of honor. Maybe, a library named in my honor. Yes, that bad! Well,  I decided to decrease my sugar and carbohydrate intake. As well as increased my physical activity. With Gods help, I lost. It was not easy, let me tell you NOT. EASY.  There were fits of HANGRY moments, very ugly toddler moments. I had bad let me sit on the floor, fridge door open and literally shoveling in everything in the fridge. Complete with chocolate dripping from my chin. No, worries though, I had enough donuts to soak up the chocolate. These days would have been so easy to wallow in my HANGRY misconduct. But, couldn't! Had to pull of those big girl (literally) panties and move forward.  These hangry days were followed by days of fitness perfection. Angels singing, hallelujah perfection. Yes,till this day there are days french fries and double fudge chocolate cake whisper lovely sweet nothings in my ear. Ever read the Song of Solomon? Well, I am positive that Song of Solomon was written about my love for food. But, again with Gods help GOAL MET at 60 pounds down (whoop! whoop!) All glory to God. Goal of 45 more for 2016. However, I do not feel my physical fitness is about a number on a scale. It's about feeling happy, healthy and good in my skin.

As I embarked on the new physical fitness adventure, I included more importantly my spiritual journey. Let me just start with once upon a time way back when, I was a cup of Jezebel, a dash of Rahab and a few ounces of Delilah. You could say I was spiritually a one woman wrecking ball. Your initial reaction is to judge me. Which is okay, I'd do, did the same.
In the midst of the wrecking ball life, I had a inner desire to be more like Mary. Once a good church girl who was blinded by what the world had to offer me. Seriously, without morals, standards and a conscious the world is the literally the best playground out there. The problem is, it's Satan's playground. A huge fun bright shiny world so full of empty promises and disappointments. Similar to smoking pot and getting drunk. Everything is funnier, taste better, looks better (beer goggles) and easier to do without feeling bad about it. But, in the end you wake up with a headache, in unknown places with unknown people who truly do not care about you as a person. Ill, lonely and guilt ridden. Yep, me, me and me again. Several years ago, Surprised? Don't be, more people than you realize has been there.

I had begun by finding a church I felt comfortable in. I started volunteering with the youth. Even began a bible study for women. In the midst of "teaching" these women I had realized never really learned how to study the word. I didn't know as much as I thought. I knew what it said, but not where to find it. Sorta, defeats the purpose. I began seeking how I should study from others. I wanted to do it right, to learn as much as possible. In an attempt to bring myself closer to God. With all the new "right" way to study I was more confused than when I started and overwhelmed. Which made me no closer to God than before this impossible feat. I asked a more people just to be sure. Who felt because I grew up in church I should know the word, front to back. That my walk with him should be closer. Well, wrong, wrong and wrong again.

Finally, (this year) I did what I should have done in the beginning. I began to pray about it. I wanted God to show me the right way to study his word. I wanted to know as much as I could. I wanted and still want to know all of it. Every ounce. I didn't just want to study, I wanted to remember what I studied. This is something I recommend to anyone who wants to increase their walk or have a more intimate walk with God.

First thing I learned is studying is similar to prayer. It's a conversation between you and God. Prayer is a verbal conversation. Studying is a non-verbal communication. Guess, what there isn't a right or wrong way. When you increase your prayer life and time in the word. God reveals what you need to know.

 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:6

 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20

All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. 2 Timothy 3:16

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, Philippians 2:12

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

These are not random scriptures. They are scriptures that helped me understand there is no specific way to pray or study. No right or wrong way. So, I use bible journaling (art work) because it helps ME to remember what I've read. When I was in college, my psychology professor said when studying use bright colors. It's proven to help you recall what you read. I have found this to be true. I also find myself contemplating what exactly the scripture means while I journal. As you can tell I am not the best artist. But, it works for me and glorifies God.  Which is what matters.

My personal from experience advice for anyone who is wanting to increase their physical and/or spiritual life.

Do what works for you. As long as you are not starving yourself physically or spiritually there is NO right or wrong way. God created us uniquely. We are all one of a kind. Therefore, I can only think we must learn and become physically healthy uniquely.  As long as you are seeing positive results Spiritually physically or both, do NOT be discouraged. Keep going.... And, when you make a mistake forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness and keep moving. My prayer today is this blog helps someone know it's okay. Do what works for YOU!

God is great and coffee is your friend,

Hollie Kate

Faith over Fear

I am a control freak when it comes to my daily life. This is not a secret to those who truly know me. I like stability, schedules and consistency. I love knowing what time were going to bed and getting up. I even love knowing what nights we will be watching a particular television show. I love knowing at 630 every evening my 12 year old daughter and I will compete solving puzzles on Wheel of fortune. I do not like surprises in any way shape or form. I contribute my almost OCD level of this to my childhood. As a child there was so much chaos, instability and uncertainty in my world. It always left me feeling confused, tired, fearful, unfocused and without peace.   Even now when things get chaotic I get anxious. Something as simple as cutting my hair, having my nails done or uninvited guest cause anxiety attacks. Yes, this is something I've dealt with for years. I've turned it over to God and I've let him or so I thought. I live a peaceful life in Waco far from family. I do have a few select friends here. I have a daily routine and it's the same day in and day out. I love it this way. Well last Friday my boss and owner of the company I was employed at informed me the doors would be closing Monday. Yes, in a brief forty-eight hours. This was completely unexpected. At that moment my peaceful scheduled life was thrown into a downward spiral of chaos. I was in shocked, anxious, nervous and worried. And that is just the tip of the ice berg of emotions.

I had to stop and calm down I vowed I would prayerfully fast and read my bible. Along with applying for position in various cities and states. Appling for unemployment.  I even have gone as far as purchasing a new bible, which I've been wanting for a while. I bought new pens and took out an old empty journal. I've jumped head first into prayer, fasting and studying. I know there are times throughout the day when I feel overwhelmed by the circumstance or fearful of the unknown God has shown me in scriptures he is still here. He has not left me, nor will he. He will not forsake me. I am reminded in Ecclesiastes 3:1  " To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven". I've been sure this is just a season and this too shall pass.

Then this morning I check my email and there is a message stating I don not qualify for unemployment. I didn't make enough. Very frustrated I drove to the Workforce office to inquire about this decision. I was given a paper to apply for appeals. The sweet elderly man who helped me said it may have just been a typo or error entered on either end. So, I asked how long the appeals take. His reply "if all goes well or as planned it'll take five to six weeks".  Another spiral of chaos in my new world of uncertainty. I felt the fear, anxiety, frustration and tears starting to overwhelm me. I called my mother who immediately calmed me down.  As I drove home I was quickly reminded by God the bible says in  Isaiah 42:16 "when God says he will, it's a guarantee he will". I have been faithful to turn to him and his word he is working on my behalf. See a few years ago I would have immediately  look at the situation and reacted out fear. And, yes usually making the worst decision possible. Causing the domino effect to my circumstance. So, I sit here today with uncertainty in my future employment and residence. But I chose to put my faith, hope and trust in God. I chose to not let my circumstance pull me away but drawn me closer to God. No, I am not perfect and I do have those moments in which I stand and say "God I need you to take over". And guess what he does, EVERY TIME!  And I challenge you today. If you are facing uncertainty have faith and let God work for you.