Something I know I have struggled with over my 19 years as a parent is Love Vs. Discipline. My grandmother told me once "children crave discipline, they cannot survive without it." I know I was raised in a home of strict "spare the rod, spoil the child." My mother knew my dad was strict in the "rod" area so she was the one who loved very seldom with the "rod." When I left home I could cook, well I might add. I could clean and had stellar organizational skills. That part of being a parent I was good with. However, I really didn't have much training in the discipline area of my future children. I still tease my oldest telling him he was my guinea pig. I had my oldest when I was 16, second when I was 19, then 21, 23 and 29. I have prayed for 19 years asking God to lead my footsteps in parenting. Yes, I started early. Nevertheless, no matter what your age is when becoming a parent it is a learning experience. We all know there has to be a balance between love and discipline. It's finding that balance that is difficult. Some parents discipline with positive reinforcement. Others believe the "rod" is the only way. Others believe in the "time-out". I've learned in 19 years just as there is the five love languages of children. There is also the five discipline languages of children. Some of you will disagree with this. I am just speaking from my own experience. See my oldest and youngest are so much alike in personality, very loyal, tender hearts, very smart, love structure and schedules and very sweet spirited. The two middle children are identical to a T. They are strong willed, loving, defensive, good at sports, and are constantly changing their minds. Then there is my middle daughter she is very easily entertained, loving, very sweet spirited, messy, especially when eating, very book smart and wears her heart on her sleeve. My children all have their own personalities, with similarities. So therefore each one has to be disciplined in different ways. My oldest and youngest a good talk and letting them know your disappointment in their actions is usually enough. And simply asking if their choice was a good one and allowing them to explain what a better choice would be. My middle daughter she is usually very obedient, every now and then she lazy and I have to really be on her about it. So #1 #4 and #5 are not challenging at all. Its #2 and #3 are my challenge. Let me tell you if there is any parent who hates the "rod" part of parenting that would be me. I do believe at times a spanking (on the rear end) is necessary. I said spanking, not beating and there is a huge difference. And #2 and #3 had a fair share of spankings. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love all my children #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5 all the same. They are there reason I went to school, graduated and the reason I am on my road to fitness. They have been my reason through survival in domestic violence. The reason I've gone to bed hungry and the reason I have done everything I have to better my life. So, please do not misunderstand me when I am describing each personalities of my children. I am blessed beyond measure that as of right now none of my children are in any type of trouble. No detention, no juvenile delinquent centers, no suspension. And all make very good grades. And no this has not always been the case. My #3 child in the past has had her fair share of fights, and suspensions. My oldest if all goes as planned will be sworn into the active duty Army next week. With all my children have endured, with their fathers voluntary parental relinquishment and the abandonment issues. And the times were living in our van or a bus. Then when you read the odds of children raised in a single mother household. I have truly been blessed. My point in all of this is. All children required different types of discipline. I am not saying you spoil one and allow that child to run wild and discipline the other. I am saying I don't care if its a timeout, a spanking (on the rear end), or a talk. You have to read your bible, pray and ask God to reveal the proper punishment for each one of your children. I promise you if you ask he will show you. Here are a few scriptures to help you in your search to discipline the way God intended.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Proverbs 1:8-9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
Proverbs 22:15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
Proverbs 23:13-14 (KJV) Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
I pray you are blessed by this posting today. And remember it's not Love Vs. Discipline. Discipline in love. They go hand and hand. And no matter what let your children know they are the apple of your eye and nothing they can do would make you love them any less. Question them yes! But, not love any less.
Life is short, God is Good and coffee if your friend,
Hollie Kate
Sources:
The Holy Bible, King James Version
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version
“Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.”
[1] Biblesoft’s New Exhaustive Strong’s Numbers and Concordance with Expanded Greek-Hebrew Dictionary. Copyright (c) 1994, Biblesoft and International Bible Translators, Inc.
[2] Thayer’s Greek Lexicon, Electronic Database. Copyright (c) 2000 by Biblesoft
Read more:
http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/20-important-bible-verses-for-parents/#ixzz2hF3IGiSf
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