We all strive to have children who are Godly, healthy, happy, smart, funny, forgiving individuals who offer unconditional love. Ones who love and accept themselves. The uniquely flawed imperfect individuals God created. I've never understood how people can tell their children, "do as I say, not as I do". This phrase does not fly at our house at all. Do as you would want your children to do. Become, the parent you want in your children for your grandchildren.
I know from first hand experience it way easier said, then done. When a job is a top priority job, it usually isn't an easy job. The old saying "to much is given (blessed), much is required". Is a very true statement. I have been blessed with five (5) of the most important and beautiful of God's greatest creations. I've been blessed much therefore, I am required to give much. Much of myself, my life and my time. This starts with the ministry God has placed in my home. The ministry of motherhood.
This ministry is not an easy feat. It's the toughest ministry by far God has called me into. Yes, I say called. Not all women or men are called into this ministry. I know that God never intended for our children to be raised by single parents. God intended for a loving married couple striving to be all God has called them to be, and to raise godly children. For various reasons there are thousands of single parents. Sometimes it is divorce. Sometimes it is a death of a spouse. Others it is children born out of wedlock. Our choice or not. Whatever the reason is, we have a greater calling and greater ministry. The ministry of single parenting!!!
I am sure God does not require parenting perfection from us. He only requires a heart willing to serve him. Through parenting. Not only by taking our children to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. Nor, by our repetitious meal prayers. But a heart that serves daily. Not, dictating to our children what God requires from us. Not controlling all aspects of their lives. By, living our lives in such a way we are examples of God's grace, love, discipline and forgiveness. By educating them biblically and prayerfully. Allowing, them room to make the mistakes, that will bring them closer to God and his will for their lives.
Because of my seriousness of this subject. There are things I chose not to do; such as date. Why? I do not feel like God has chosen for me to marry right now. Therefore, I do not date. I mean would I spend my days test driving cars, or looking for bathtubs if I were not intending on buying either?
I chose to pay my tithes. When I cash my check I automatically put 10% of gross in the back of my wallet. Then I allow them to place my tithing envelope in the offering plate. I sometimes when feel called to do so prayerfully fast. I do let my children know I am fasting. I do asked them not to tell anyone. Why? Because, my family has reaped the benefits numerous times due to faithful tithing and prayerful fasting. And, I want them to see and know first hand. To encourage them to do the same.
If I am offended for some reason, (normally I have to check my heart) when this happens. . Regardless of what my pastor, his wife or other church leaders have said or done. I do not EVER let my children know. My family has previously been hurt by another church. Not just by the pastor, his wife and children. But, others in leadership as well. Other congregants too. Looking back God has shown me ways I could have protected my children. Ways I could have defused some of the hurt. The hurt would have still been there for me. However, I could have saved my children from some of the same hurt. This type of hurt is spiritually damaging. It is a type of hurt is a deep aching hurt. One that only God himself can heal. So, lesson learned.
I will give you a list of things I have either done in our home, or interned on incorporating into our home. A bright side of single parenting is....... I do not have to pray then discuss with my husband. I pray and carry it out, with Gods help of course. So, there are upsides :) and, of course eating microwavable foods daily (ha, ha).
1. I take my children to church. (yes, we do miss services)
2. I pay my tithes, And require the same from my children.
3. I pray in front of and for my children. Encouraging them to do the same.
4. I worship daily, Mostly with music. All, my children love music. So, this helps.
5. I let them make mistakes. Then explain with scripture how a different outcome could have taken place. I DO NOT degrade them with condensing remarks or a judgmental attitude.
6. I am nosey!!! If I don't know who, what, when, where. They don't go, Period!
7. If I meet a family and feel uneasy. They don't go, period!
8. They have chores.
9. They have choices. They chose NOT to do chores. They are choosing the consequences.
10. I don't talk bad about their absentee fathers. I want them to come to their own conclusions. (would I love too, YES sometimes!).
11. DO NOT for any reason, bad mouth my pastor, his wife, children or other leaders at church. Well our church in general. (this is very dangerous, spiritually).
Pray your day is blessed. And, remember when called to the ministry of parenting. None of us are perfect. Nor, will we ever be. We just have to prayerfully raise our children to love the Lord. And, know no matter how far we or they fall. God has an open arms policy.
God is great, love is a gift and coffee is your friend,
Hollie.
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